Hey Boob Shirley
From Wazoo In Effigy
Hey Boob Shirley
Coming off the cold civic pageant of the last track, Rose lightens the touch without loosening the craft, and the album settles into a run of comic set-pieces that all pull their weight. The joke here is the arrangement itself: a marimba that opens by miming a woman walking across a room, then keeps that walking motif running through the whole thing like a straight face at a comedy roast. Rose plays anthropologist, dry and deadpan, delivering the verses in a talk-sung mumble that treats a man’s caught glance as field research: ‘Nothing makes a grown man study grout / Like what he noticed four feet before.’ The chorus hook is genuinely sticky, and the brisk pulse keeps everything slightly off its heels, the broken-waltz bridge tipping into that ‘three beats for displaying, two beats for the scan’ bit that lands the mock-science joke perfectly. What sounds like a minor key gives the whole thing a wry, unsmiling edge rather than a wink. It runs long at five-plus minutes and the spoken outro pushes the conceit a beat past where a tighter edit would have left it, but the payoff line, ‘Nice grout, by the way,’ earns the wait. Closest cousin might be Frank Zappa in a lecturing mood, or They Might Be Giants writing a nature documentary. For a comic set-piece, it’s built with real care, and it lets you laugh right when the record needs you to.
Lyrics
What a lovely woman… There’s the glance There’s the second glance There’s the third one you disguise As a sudden deep concern about The exit sign behind her eyes Then the posture Then the coughing Then the fascinating floor Nothing makes a grown man study grout Like what he noticed four feet before Peripheral Accidental Purely educational Two whole seconds later— deeply constitutional Hey boob Shirley Why you staring at me Hey boob Shirley They’re real, naturally It’s all about reaction A stunning self reflection It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming So don’t pretend that you don’t want the attention that you crave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing First you cover for the weather Then you decorate the hide Tie a shell around the ankle put a little color on the side Raise it Shape it Paint it Pad it Make a feature where you had it If the signal gets attention then the signal gets repeated And it worked Somewhere back before the fitting room before the label, before the brand somebody added something extra and somebody else said “Damn.” Decorative Competitive Highly reproductive Slightly exaggerated— surprisingly effective Hey boob Shirley Why you staring at me Hey boob Shirley Checking out the competition, I see It’s all about reaction A little self-comparison It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming You can call it taste or fashion or whatever keeps you brave But if beauty wasn’t working we’d have stopped it in the cave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing So there you have it A little color A little lift A little something nature apparently forgot to gift Three beats for displaying Two beats for the scan Nobody wrote the handbook— but everybody understands You can call it presentation You can call it social art But somewhere underneath the tailoring the monkey got a head start
And apparently he brought accessories
HEY BOOB SHIRLEY Why you staring at me HEY BOOB SHIRLEY Checking out the competition, I see It’s all about reaction Mutual inspection It’s primal Compelling Flatly overwhelming You can dress it up as culture You can file it under taste But biology keeps peeking through the buttons at the waist So don’t pretend that you don’t want the attention that you crave Don’t just free them partly Free the whole thing (Free the whole thing.) (The whole thing.) Yes, Shirley We noticed
So after several thousand generations of feathers beads buckles buttons padding plunging necklines raised heels lowered hems raised hems and the occasional strategically placed shiny object we have reached the highly advanced conclusion that people enjoy being looked at— provided they approve of who is looking And the rest of us will continue pretending we were reading the exit sign
Nice grout, by the way