Wheel Of Frustration
From Outlandia
Wheel Of Frustration
King Of Junk’s game-show outro was a tease; Wheel Of Frustration makes good on it, a five-minute concept piece built like a game show that eats its contestants alive. The clavinet-and-brass funk sits at a brisk clip in E major, all polished television sheen, until every chorus snaps its neck: the ensemble chirps “The house takes it back / Smile into the lens” while the band curdles underneath, and the host lands each round with a flat “Fuck you, it’s mine.” Rose stacks the cruelty by degrees, Mara crawling for ten thousand, Cal made to name his son on camera three, until June arrives with “No debts displayed, no stunt prepared” and the music nearly vanishes, the round simply called “Mine.” The masterstroke is the coda: the whole apparatus strips to a sparse piano and a Nanny’s contralto watching from the wings, “He never watched the people leave / He watched the little red light,” then a tape-drag fade of a man playing recorded applause to an empty studio. It reaches for a lot, and the sheer density means it asks more of you than the plainspoken confessions elsewhere; this is a grower, a piece for the faithful that reveals its architecture on the third or fourth pass. But the ideas are real, and that hollow ending earns its chill.
Lyrics
Four hopeful people Four cases full of cash Four little promises Made to break on camera
Spin it Name it Hold it Claim it
Welcome, friends, to Jollywood Where fortune treats you fair Every case is full tonight And every cent is there Take the handle Feel the weight Look directly through the lens This is yours
This is ours
For now
Mara works the hospital nights Her rent is six weeks late Ten thousand dollars in the case Could put food upon the plate
Mara, crawl beneath the table Kiss the sponsor’s polished shoe Wear the snout and ring the bell The money waits for you
My children know I came to win
Then give the children something good
She crawled She rang She crossed the line She held the case—
The house takes it back Smile into the lens The house takes it back That’s how winning ends You carried it through every trick You made it to the line
Fuck you— It’s mine
Cal drove down from Northern Mill His boy needs work done on his teeth Twenty grand inside the case A year of air beneath his feet
Read the bills in order, Cal Tell us what the doctors cost Tell us what your father left you Tell us what the bank has lost
Do I have to name my son
Only if you want to win
Eli His name is Eli
Camera three, come closer in
He read They watched The numbers climbed He held the case—
The house takes it back Smile into the lens The house takes it back That’s how winning ends You carried it through every trick You made it to the line
Fuck you— It’s mine
Ruth has taught the fourth grade class For thirty-seven years Fifty thousand in the case The biggest prize this year
One last question, Mrs. Vale Answer cleanly, yes or no Would you fire your oldest friend To take the money home
There is no honest answer there
The clock requires one
No
Incorrect The answer was whatever pleased me When the final buzzer came
She stood We laughed The sign said “Smile” She never touched the case—
The house takes it back Smile into the lens The house takes it back That’s how winning ends You followed every written rule You made it to the line
Fuck you— It’s mine
June is seventy-eight years old She came in Sunday blue No debts displayed No stunt prepared No special thing to do
You said the case was mine
I did
The clock has not begun
It doesn’t need to
Then what is this round called
Mine
The house takes it back Smile into the lens The house takes it back That’s how winning ends No contract and no finish line No reason and no sign The house takes it back because—
Fuck you— It’s mine
Spin it Name it Hold it Claim it Lose it Thank him Wave goodbye Tell the camera you had a wonderful time
From the wings I watched the tally Green bars rising when they cried He never watched the people leave He watched the little red light The cases went back to the truck The makeup came off every face He stayed behind with one machine And played the cheering in the space
Again
The house takes it back—
Louder
The house takes it back—
Start before they beg